Wednesday, May 23, 2012

His Love

It's hard to sometimes believe that we lived such similar lives before meeting. I often ponder on how we got through our hard times. Then, I remember. 


The only way that we were able to press on and keep moving was with God. 


People might think I'm a "fruit loop" but because I've witnessed God's presence like never before, I know  to my core that HE is the only way we are both solidly standing here today. 


I first knew he was a man of God after the first couple of phone conversations. He never came out and said so and I never came out and asked. There was an essence of his beliefs in everything he said. 


Immediately, I knew through his love that it was unconditional, it was abundant, it was honest and he loved me despite all my previous scars. It's hard to admit that it's a love I have never felt before and I know it is unique and magnificent. There were times that it brought me to tears and fall to my knees. That kind of love only comes from a man with a heart for God. 


It reminded me so much that THIS is the way God loves us- HE is all in. He will take us. Broken, insecure, imperfect, angry, bitter, lonely, scared, embarrassed - he will take us and all that we bring to the table. 


From the beginning we both admitted our shortcomings and both realized we weren't perfect and that was ok. 


Our conversations were full, deep, thought-provoking, fun, and for once we both felt that we had met our match. He complimented me in ways no one else could and I to him. As the days, months, and years flowed, I realized this love was something that I believed in and hoped for many, many years before as an 11 year old girl. That girl was watching complete chaos unfold around her as she sat at a piano and played through all of her insecurities. 


I pray daily for each of my children to see this love, be grateful for this love, and to wait for the appointed time when God's love brings this kind of love into their lives. 


His love is such a treasure. He reminds me to be grateful, forgiving, loving, and present. It's not possible for him to know how much I respect him and want to make him proud in everything I do and say. 


"There are no words" to explain such a feeling as this. I love you, J. Happy Anniversary!