Wednesday, February 12, 2014


I. Am. Angry. 


I said it. 

Earlier this week, I wrote this update on SuperJace called "Reality": 

That blog spawned a lot of feedback. Some positive. Some negative. Some silence.

It started a conversation at my dinner table with my family about how insensitive and all-about-me people can be. 

Before last year, I knew people could be this way, but it wasn't until this year (2014) that I've really seen how people can disappoint. I always, always, always want to see the good in everyone. Sometimes that is my weakness.

Here's a list of things that our family has heard, personally. It hasn't been until now that we've really exchanged our experiences with each other: 

"Stop dwelling on it." 
"Move on." 
"I really don't want to hear about it anymore." 
"What's the big deal? He's in remission." 
"Your perspective can be a little jaded." 

In this whole cancer journey, I've never felt anger. 

Until now. 

I'm angry because it, literally, breaks my heart that some people really cannot see past themselves. 

They are so wrapped up in their stuff that they don't see the need right beside them.  

Dear ALL-ABOUT-ME People, 

I will NOT apologize because the things we're going through make YOU uncomfortable. 
I will NOT stop writing about the journey we still live and giving you the real, raw details. 
I will NOT stop talking about what we go through even when the words aren't pretty enough for you. 
I will NOT always give you the neatly packaged story you think you need. 
I will NOT stop discussing CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS because multiple times a day a family is changed forever. 

I WILL keep telling the story. 
I WILL still come from a place of love. 
I WILL not let your negative words to me, my husband, or my children overpower the love we will continue to send out. 
I WILL keep serving, supporting and helping those in need even while in the middle of my own journey.

My anger will only last a second because it will then fuel me to DO something outside of myself and then will turn into love for others who need it. 

When you see me, I hope, instead of looking down or away in pity, you will raise your eyes in gratitude and love and pass it on to someone else. 

"'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." 

Love More.